Your role in relationships

I have written about relationships before. Relationships with staff, relationships with students, and relationships with parents.  They are all important, but I think the most important relationships are those between students and each other. 

I have seen the quotes and saying that go something like this;

·      All a student needs is one connection with a teacher to change their life.

Or

·      A relationship with a student can change their life forever.

I think on the surface and in theory this sounds fine, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that message.  But in reality, it is an overly narrow approach to your role. It puts you in the role of the hero, the one that is needed beyond all others.  It implies to an extent that if you can not connect with that particular kid you have failed them.  We aren't all able to connect with all kids, no matter how hard we try.  

I would say that although the relationship between educator and student is super important and not much can be done without it, cultivating relationships amongst students is even more important.  It is not as glamorous though.  

Your ability to establish a culture in your building and classroom that promotes relationships between students is a testament to your ability to run a safe and healthy school. 

Every kid needs a friend.  At least one.  Not having friends leads to resentment, which then leads to all sorts of things.

So when you are thinking about working to build relationships with students, remember you are only going to be with them for a short period of time.  Their classmates potentially, could be with them for years. 

Think not what I can do for them, but how you can help them do for them.  You can have a major influence to promote and cultivate this. 

The greatest way I have found success as a principal has been finding a common task, game, or goal and allowing students to work together with my supervision and questioning to get them to open up.  Much of their day is scripted in many ways for them.  Or if not scripted like recess or lunch may be without an adult immediately present.  When we have unscripted time, which is all my time with kids, find some commonalities and build on them.  

#edubabble 8 - To quote or not to quote

Just watch the video.  The voice inflection is important. 

Flamboyent - BIg L

The Sun God - Hi-Tek, Common, Vinia Mojica

B-Boy Document - The High and Mighty, Mos Def, Mad Skillz

What one win can do...

I have always been a four for four guy with Philadelphia sports.  Well there was that early 90's love of the Oakland A's, but even then the Phillies were my number 1.  I remember where I was when Allen Iverson Stepped over Tyronn Lue.  I remember where I was when the Flyers came back from 0-3 against the Bruins.  I remember where I was when the Phillies won in 2008.  I remember Mike Schmidt's 500, Barkley fighting Shaq, and the sadness of seeing Lindros with another concussion.  All that being said, there has always been one above all other four.

Each Sunday was and still is sacred.  I may not be able to watch every game, but I have listened on the radio, or in the past few years avoided all media, because I recorded the game.  Even when Doug Pederson was the quarterback I watched.  I prefer to watch alone. I don't really get into talking strategy or match-ups throughout the week.  I have only been to one game in person on purpose.  I have a special relationship with each of the players, although I also know this is silly.  My favorite of all time is Andre Waters, but if you ask me, I will tell you Brian Dawkins.  My favorite lineman was Clyde Simmons, but if you ask me I will say Reggie White.  My favorite players are never who I state, not because I am embarrassed about my choices, but because on some weird level, I don't want to share "my guys".  Which this blogpost is clearly doing! 

I have only ever had a few offensive players in my top 20, which would probably include Duce Staley, Charlie Garner, Randall Cunningham, Fred Barnett, Jason Peters, and maybe one day Carson Wentz (sorry, just too new).  All the rest are defensive players.

I have never really liked any of the coaches except Buddy and now Pederson.  I hated Kotite, I knew Rhodes was a placeholder, Chip was like a one night stand, and I respected Big Red, but never wanted to go have a beer with him.  As far as assistants, I will say Jim Johnson and Ron Harbaugh both have special places in my heart. 

As far upper management.  Lurie... He is steadily growing on me.  He has pushed my needle towards positive recently, so he is trending in the right direction.  Roseman has shown me a lot lately, definitely trending positive.  I am probably one of the few people that liked Joe Banner, but Tom Heckert never really did anything for me.  I don't remember much before these regimes, when it comes to upper level management without doing research.  Which for this post, I have done none.

All that being said, which was probably too much, leaves me with

"What one win can do..."

One win on Sunday will justify all the time and emotions dedicated to this team over the years.  It will solidify the notion that a community winning is a healthy community.  It will prove that although I am definitely an Eagles pessimist all the time, I will have a moment of celebration... I have to think about that.  Not just for 6 days after a win, but for months, maybe years of feeling celebration.   

It will also not allow me to complain constantly.  It will not allow me to say, "but" "I am scared" "I just don't know" and many other things as it relates to how I talk about my beloved team.  It won't allow me to growl at the TV for a while, or say %$&*^% when they go 3 and out again next season.  I will have to admit we finally won a Super Bowl!  

I want to win, but as a true Eagles fan I am really scared I won't know how to deal with it.  I won't know how to say "we are Super Bowl Champions"!  I won't believe it, I definitely won't say "Super Bowl Champions" too much, as it might change the already decided outcome.  

I am currently too confident, I know this... It worries me.  I need to be worried.  I need to be nervous, I need to doubt my team.  This is how I have been raised as an Eagles fan.  My anxiety is if we win, I won't know how to react.  I am afraid of losing my/our identity.

I don't want to lose, I am just panicked and shaken, that with a win, I won't know how to be an Eagles fan anymore.... 

Guess I will have to figure it out... Like I said, I think we are going to win!