Wednesday, June 26, 2019

To Be Reflective Is To Be Effective

So I sat there at 1:00pm and watched a high school drum line.  I have seen many drum lines, I was very impressed, they were good.  Then there was this guy... white shirt, baggy pant, knots in his hair like Coolio for me.  He @docspeaks on twitter, American flag book bag, thought he was the drum line "hype" man.  Then thought something more as he continued to walk around the crowd, doing his thing.

I was called out in my head, I started to think about what he was doing.  I fell to his experiment, I think of myself as someone that understands my bias, I had bias against him before he spoke.... He "got me" so good, not like he understood me, but he got me feeling a certain white way about him.  He achieved with me, I think what he wanted.  I applied my bias to him. I really did, I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit this... 

He then went on to explain in a way that helped me to understand, laugh, and realize, I still have bias.  I still need to work on my filter, #realtalk. I was affected physically and emotionally in a way that no speaker has ever made me feel.  My hands were wet with tears as I continued to clear my eyes.    

So thank you Dr. Brown, thank you for making me cry in laughter, but also in sorrow, all while realizing that you did this for me, to be better.  To be as you said, "nice is reactive, kindness is proactive". 

I can not do justice with these typed words of what this experience meant to me, but it was #cleartheair to a different level.  I got caught, I got called out, I got in my #whiteness.  

I am better now than I was this morning thanks to you! 

He came on the stage as one person and left another, I need to make sure I recognize both Dr. Brown's. 

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